Hey hey! Dear diary, today i slept for about 4 hours. Feels damn nice. Arghh.. Then reality hit me. I have some or a lot of homework to do! Shiitt!! Huhu~ tmr will be another tiring day. And each day i keep having to live with it. Looking forward to the end of the day where i can rest and sleep well. And i realise that i am kind of a private person. I only share with people i trust. And that is only some sharing moments. Else, i just have to bottle things up or dump it here or just live with it. Yeah. Life has its ups and downs. I wish i can be like peter pan. Forever young. Never have to worry about problems. Never have to worry about people backstabbing u or the way ppl look at u. U just have fun and don't care about what people say. U just have to be urself and not change because of people or circumstances. I don't really know how to express myself throught words, or even actions. I don't even know if what i've been blogging are my expressions. Hopefully it is. Did i ever tell u that i was always bullied at school? Well, not to the extent of beating up or extorting money. It's just "friendly" bully i guess. Everytime, my newfound "friends" and long time friend would either make fun of me, or vandalise my notes just because they do not want to dirty their own. Like wth! I have feelings too. And i don't like my notes being vandalised! And yet, when it is my turn, my "friends" would feel hurt and they show their emotions to me. And then start being bitchy. Guess what? I don't like that! I have feelings too! I just don't show my anger or emotions to u becoz i consider u as my friends. Or that's what i thought u all are. For eg, i just made fun of ur name. And u were upset with me. Wtf! U made fun of my name and i just laugh it off! I didn't take it seriously. And u? U had to show that u r upset. Like the whole world owes u an apology. And i had to make that apology. Tell u the truth. I wasn't sincere in my apology. I was feeling pissed instead. And i didn't show that in front of u, did i?!! Now i believe that this saying by my long time friend. It's every man for himself. And i say game on. I'm gonna catch up with u. And knock over ur game. Another eg. My so-called close friend confronted me for reading a passage too loud. Wtf! If u think it's too loud then take a few seats from me and stay there! I don't even wanna sit beside u! Damn it. Fucking shit. And u were unhappy about it. Don't u realise it was noisy in class when we were reading that passage? The noise isn't only from me. Noob shit. And u were all like,".. oh, then i think we need to resolve this.." fuck. U are the problem. Not me. Fucking pissed me off. I really felt like crying at that time. Really was misunderstood. And it's my close friend! I don't know if she deserves to be called my close friend. :( Ahh.. Dumping my emotions here feels good. I feel much better now. Phew. This blog is like my emotional space. Haha. Thanks to this blog, i can pour out my feelings,thoughts and my viewpoints. Ooh! These can be considered expressions right? Ok, good! I can express myself here! YAY!~ alright, gtg. I will come to u if i have any problems,ok bloggie/diary? :) hehe. Byebye!