i m totally disappointed...
damn it...
i m not disappointed in anybody...
but myself...

i m a useless girl...
wateva i do is wrong...
nothing seems right...
i m juz so stupid...

i hate myself...
i really HATE MYSELF!!!
what do i have 2 do
2 pay 4 my SINS??
well, actually..
i m not sure wat i have committed...
but dis feeling inside me...
it keeps bugging me...

when there r ppl arnd
esp. my family/my loved ones..
i will try not 2 break their hart
by crying..
w/o any reason...

d onli tyme i can
cry is either during
recess in school..
coz every1 in class wud go
4 recess...

or when i m mostly
alone at home...
i wud cry...
dat's wat i alwaes do
most of d tyme...

i wan 2 bang my head
against d wall...
i dun care if it hurts...
coz it is oredi hurting inside...

i hope..
i will have an internal bleeding...
or brain concussion..
so dat..
i will not noe
dat i'll b dying..
n i'll juz die in a sec..

where no 1 rescue me...
no one gets help...
every1 juz ignore...
as if nothing is happening..

it wud b gud..
u may tink i m silly...
or selfish...
or wadeva u can call me..

if u have d guts..
sae those words to my face..
n i will give u not
juz a piece of my mind..
but d whole piece of me...

count urself lucky
if i tink of u as my worthy fren..
or u happen not 2 noe
wat is going on wif me lately...
i won't blame u...
i'll hate myself even more...

hit me if u wan..
slap me if u wan..
stab me if u wan..
but u can't KILL me...
coz only i, myself, can kill me...

u noe d word "acting"?
well..dat's wat i m doing..
i m acting happy in front of u all...
nobody noes d real me...
nobody...
coz everybody is
too busy with their own lives...
which i will never blame 'em...

TO ALL MY FRENS...
I M DEEPLY SORRY DAT I M UR FREN...
WE SHUD HAVE NEVER MET OR EVEN SPOKE...
I DON'T DESERVE TO B UR FREN...
COZ I DUN SHOW GUD EXAMPLES 2 U ALL...
I M VERY SORRY..
HOPE U ACCEPT MY APOLOGY..
EVEN IF U DON'T...
IT'S OK..
I WON'T BLAME U...
EXCEPT MYSELF....