yesterdae..
had reading period...
then it was eng period...
then AE class..

i am totally
not interested
in AE...
i don't see how
i am going 2 use it
especially..
if my class is learning ballet...
which i totally hate
coz i dun really like when
they stand on their "toes"

when i was watching csi,
d detectives discovered dat
d murdered victim was a ballerina...
bcoz of her weird toes twist...
i mean like d joints of d toes were bent...
yeah...sumtink lidat..

then it was recess...
i did not go 4 recess..
as always..
i m alone in d class...

then it was mt...
n music...
then it was home econs...
y r they so evil 2 punish us
waste paper?
dun they noe dat they
are causing global warming???
i dun like hm econs teachers...

i got back my test paper..
i got 13/20...
as i had thought...
i wud not do very well...
even if i stay up all nite..
my effort of revising
is juz a waste of time...

i oso got 2 noe dat
i got d lowest mark...
wow..
mayb my wish came true...

came back home..
do homework...
woke up at 7pm...
revised 4 tml history(which is 2dae)
but i cud not get anitink
into my head...

arghhhhh....
so i haf a feeling dat
i will not do well
in my history test...

then it was art...
mr meng thought
us 2 draw cherries..
i tink dat it is a waste of time...
2 do all chinese calligraphy...
chinese painting...

then it was p.e...
tot dat 2dae we
r going 2 play badminton...
but some ppl occupied d hall
so no nid...
played soccer with renon
for a while..
juz kicking d ball 2wards him..
but i dun really feel
like playing...
so luckily...
it began 2 rain
n mr govin was shouting at d
ppl in school uniform
playing basketball...

went back 2 class...
sat there..
then change into school inform...
listened 2 music frm my phone...
then i cried...

ok...
so now i m going 2 confess...
why i cried...
the reason is...
i hate myself...

yeah..
i hate myself...
sometimes...
i feel like ending it all...
but i dun wan...
bcoz i still love
my family...
my frenz..
n every1 i had met...

at home...
my mum alwaes nag at me...
for not doing sumtink rite...
or homework..
or my room...

if i was holding a pen...
i wud squeeze d pen tightly...
at unlucky times...
i was holding a 2b pencil...
n i was like squeezing it...
n it broke into 2...
i quickly hide it somewhere....

my hand wud feel a little pain....
sometimes, it wud bleed a bit...
but i like to feel the pain...
so dat my heart won't feel
so painful...

i m disappointed
of myself...
disappointed of wat
i have become...
i was in 3rd place
in the 1st semester...
i was really shock
n deeply upset about dis...
i mean if i was in d top 10...
then it wud b ok...

but 3rd?
to me it is like sending some1
straight 2 hell
by d end of d year...

some more...
dis year i haf been distracted...
it actually has started in january...
but i tot dat i cud control it...
then in april...
my bro went 4 ns...
i cried even more...

i have become more lonely...
in school...
home...
anywhere...

then...
when my mum started
2 nag n
sae all things...
wehich really hurt me...
i wud act as if i never hear...
then...
i wud either go toilet
or my room...
n cry...
my parents will not noe...
they onli noe dat...
i m lazy..
onli noe how 2 eat n sleep...
not responsible
or considerate...

but..
let it b...
as long as she is happy...
dat she scolds me...
i can endure all this...
i can suffer in silence...

but i can't hide my emotions
well..
the place dat hurts most
is my heart...
i m thankful 2 all my frenz...
who showed care n concern...
but i repay u with my silence n tears...
so i tink i m not fit 2 b ur frens...

mayb i m meant 2 b all alone....
i dunno...
everybody's changing...