i remembered that
after the talk
we had a dinner with him

then,it was time
we walked and reached
we took pictures of me and him
i was crying in my heart

then, he said that he had to go
my mother was clinging on to his arm
she said 'huh?'
i looked at her

then,he salam my mother..
my mother huggede him and cried
i know
she is sad

i saw it in her eyes
i wanted to cry but controlled it
i drank water from a bottle
i also salam him

when she was hugging and crying
he said 'takde apa-apa lah'
in a timid voice
i was even more sad

as we walk towards the boat,
we looked at him walking
and joining his company
he didn't even looked back

not even a glance
not even a single look
not even a wave of goodbye
not even a flying kiss

haish..sigh
my mother started to cry
until we are in the boat
i cried a little bit

in order not to cry
i closed my eyes
when i opened it
we had reached

we are far away
from pulau tekong now
we won't get to see him
until 2 weeks later...

we took an mrt
we took a bus
from jurong east
to kfc nearby our home
to buy dinner

when we reached home
i was in my parent's room
and was about to go to toilet to bathe
i saw my papa looking at my bro's bilik

i heard him sniffing
as if he had a running nose
but it wasn't...
he was crying

he was sad
i act as if i wanted
to take something
i passed by my parents' room

my mother said
'ur pa is sad
ur brother is not here'
i looked at him

he was looking at
something else
i too wanted to cry
but i really tahan

i don't want them to know
that i missed him very much
so much
sooooooo muuuuucccchhh

when i got into the toilet
i cried
i cried real hard
i cried when i was showering

however, no sound
came out of my mouth
because i don't want them to
know that i was crying

i looked into the mirror
my eyes were very red
my nose was red
i tasted those tears

they were bitter
yes,they were
why?well, because i
was crying as i was sad

i cried for a long time
i was in the toilet for a long time
it was quite long
about 45mins

however, my heart
was not satisfied
my heart felt heavy
a heart bleeding heavily

i went to my room
i put on powder so
that my red nose cannot be seen
i took deep breaths

i ate dinner
i did not feel like eating
but just to show
that nothing has happened to me..
i ate it till finish

i did not feel full
neither did i feel hungry
i was miserable
i cannot focus on anything

everywhere i look
it will remind me of him
please come back soon...
i need you.........