......
haizzz...
day by day, i'm slowly, losing hope..
i can foresee my future..
down the drain..

i don't know why..
i just.. arghhh...
**** me..
i think i ****ing suck!
this sucks like hell!!!

i know people look down on me.
they see me, and they think that i cannot make it.
well, guess what?
you people are right.
yes, YOU PEOPLE are right.
what was i thinking?
that i could prove you all wrong.
i keep failing time and again.
i'm sick and tired of failing.
just sick and ****ing tired.

yes, the only person who encourages me and
truly believes me is my father.
my mother. i didn't expect her to believe in me
because i know her. she has high expectations.
if you do well, she shuts up.
if you don't, she will shoot you down like a bullet.
she blames you for everything when things go wrong.
yeah, whatever. sometimes i feel like shouting at her.
but i didn't...
sometimes i feel like killing myself, you know.
just to shut her up.
like "there, you happy? you don't need to shout or waste
your breath on me anymore..**** that,"

ahh..**** me! this sucks. i have lost much time.
lots of time! i doubt that i will manage to finish this race.
i can't unless i have new source of inspiration.
come on, please! please! please! please! ****king please!
****!