went to
d doctor
on fri nite...

hmm...
yea..im sick...
but it will b gone
in a week or 2...

time flies
real fast...
w/o u
noeing it
we will all b
separated..

to all my frenz...
thx for being my fren..
n helping me d best u cn
when im down...
even though we
mayb in d same or
different class, i dun
tink it matters..
coz i hope dat we will
still b frens...
im sorry if i ever
hurt or harm u in
aniwae...

to me..dis sec 2 life
isn't dat gud...
i kinda preferred
d sec 1 life more...
coz u won't have to
noe so much abt
ur bloody school or
d staff...

but im thinking
of moving on...
n to those hu noe
i hate u...
i'll still hate u
no matter wat.

period.
dun talk to me.
coz i won't talk to u.
dats juz d way it is.

I thought I finally received a break.
Only to see the sun fall.

My eyes will not see.
what they longed to see.

My lips will not taste.
what they longed to taste.

Why does life have to be like this?
Full of hatred and pain.
Instead of joy and bliss.

Justice must be done.
No one will get away with this,no one.
Whoever commits it has a high price to pay.

I shall watch from the corner unsuspectingly.
You shall pay.Watch it.I hate you.
This hatred will scar deep in me
and you'll suffer the consequences.

You. It's you. I know it is.
I will make you live in horror.
You will regret all that you have done.

I'll make you pay ten times of what you deserve.
You'll live a life worse than death,I swear.

Are you afraid of death?You'd better be,
Because you'll soon suffer a fate worse than that.
'Mercy'?
I can't find it in my dictionary.
Was there mercy shown from you?
No.
I guess 'mercy' does not exist in your dictionary as well.
You'll face the merciless me.

Mondae...
had history paper...
didn't manage
to finish all...

lost 14 marks..
mayb more...
went back home...

was walking home
when it started
to rain heavily...
but who cares?

i juz continue to walk
slowly..
reached home...
very drenched...

slept until arnd 7 plus..
then study..
slept at arnd 1.30am...

Tuesdae..
had maths paper..
left a lot of blanks
for paper 1 n 2..

went jurong point
alone...
actually cud have gone
wif mardi n others...

went there to take sumtink...
then went back home..
slept...
studied until 2am...

Wednesdae...
had sci paper...
quite ok...
but i noe d result
won't b ok...

went home...
slept...
studied at nite..
slept at 1.30am..

Thursdae...
had home ec paper...
quite ok...
then had to
wait for another
bloody hour
b4 d maths field test
starts...

all d qns were difficult..
so i decided not to do
most of it..
i juz put any
number dat came across
my mind..

went jp
wif mardi n shi yuan..
juz walk arnd...
then went back
sch for sumtink...

then went home...
then took a bath
n quickly change...
coz going geylang wif
mum n dad...

took mrt wif mum...
then my father board
d mrt at raffles place...

then we alight at
paya lebar..

dunno y...
he seems cold towards
her...
he usually call her mama...
but he call d formal "you"
as in "awak"...
he talks in
an agitated voice..
i mean she talked
to him nicely..
but he talk to her like dat...
i dun like it..
i really dun...
i didn't talk to him...

she juz suggested
to buy some
popiah..let her buy lah...
y wan scold her sae:
dah buat popiah,nak beli buat aper??
translation:
u oredi making popiah,
for wat wan to buy??

it's like..
walao..
freak lah him...
wat's got over him?
i dun c dat it is
neccessary to sae dat..
luckily she was patient...
if i was her,
i wud have scolded
him back..

then did my henna..
cool..
but i m unsure
abt sumtink...
will it b as happy
as last year?
i dunno.

2dae..
went sch early.
discuss sumtink.
then got back EL
paper 1..
scored 20/30...
siti scored same as me...

then maths..
got back maths paper 1...
scored 40/50..
i dunno if i shud feel
happy or sad.
i felt nothin..

am i beginning
to become 'feelingless'?
or have i become..?
i dunno..
juz confused...

am i happy or sad
or excited or angry
or nothing?
dunno.
confused.

went back early during
recess coz half dae
for all muslim pupils..
btw,thx ms chan for d kit kat...

siti has both parents at home now..
mardi also has both parents at home now..
me?well..i m alone now..
i'd prefer to b in sch..

but nvm..
everyone has a life...
everyone has probs..
everyone has stress..
so it's like
every Man for himself
or herself...
i understand..
i won't trouble anyone..

I look into the forlorn night sky.
Flushes of black and grey.
As I stood there,
wanting to weep,
I think of you.
And I am at ease.
But yesterday,
I felt depressed.

I thought you left me,
Alone.
I wanted to cry yesterday.
For fear of you leaving me.
But I just couldn't

Do you know how much
it hurts if you can't cry?
Crying releases your anger and sorrow.
But mine is deep down in my heart.
Trapped.
Maybe you didn't appreciate my actions.
But I don't really blame you.
Because I shouldn't
It's unfair to you.
I shouldn't blame you for making me sad.
I made myself sad.

I loved you too much.

Frustrated!!!!Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!
Frustrated!!!!

I have the feeling
I'm drifting apart from you.
I have the feeling
we are not meant to be.

I have the feeling I've lost you.
Or rather...
you left me.

I believed that
if you put up with the rain,
the rainbow would show itself.
Yes.
I waited.
Waited.
But the sun never came up.
The rainbow never came.
The rain is gloomy and hurtful.
Make it stop...
Please.
I feel very lonely.
Alone.

I've tried telling you many times.
But everything was the same.
Nothing changed, nothing.
I cannot walk this life alone.
Not without you.
Take it that I'm begging you.
I really love you alot....

What am I saying??
I'm sorry.
You have your own life too.
I shouldn't trap you in my life.
I'm selfish.
I'm bad.
I'm useless.

Sometimes,
When things don't work out well,
You cry.
Because things fail.
But don't cry.

Things will get better.
The rain will stop.
But mine did not.
It kept raining.
For days.
Months.

Why aren't you here for me?
I've always loved you.
Always there for you.
I don't know if I did anything for you,
But I really need you now.
Really.
My life is dead.
I am losing friends, one by one.
And YOU.
You're always with me.
I see you.
But I don't feel you.

Hope things get better and the sun comes out...